Saying Good-Bye to the Dress

When it comes to Halloween I think a bit more creativity is in order. I don’t believe in slutty costumes (although I have in the past.) I believe in black bin bags wrapped around you as a cape or finding everyday items and making them something new. 

This year I took a notion that Jessica Rabbit was the way forward even though I don’t have a tiny waist, big boobs or red hair, but you know… semantics.


The red hair was easy… a few minutes on amazon and I had long, flowing, curly wig on route. Boobs were sorted by placing bra after bra on until I had 4, yes four, padded bras wrapped around me. Amazon also helped me find hip pads, just in case, then add that to a waist cinching corset and I had the bombshell curves… or so I thought. Purple gloves came from the auld amazon too and they’ll be kept for the future.

But the dress. You know the dress. Sweetheart neckline, low back, massive slit up the leg and glitter, so, so much glitter. Where would I get one? Where could such a thing be found? Never fear… creativity is here.(Yaaaaay)

Now whenever I get creative my house sighs, my housemates hate when the words “so, I’ve been thinking” come out because it never ends well.


And so it goes, a red fishtail dress was bought, two kilos of red sparkling glitter and every type of glue imaginable. After many, many failed attempts, about a weeks work, a destroyed kitchen and a broken soul, I had some semblance of a semi-sparkling, half covered dress.

It was by no means finished but I had put so much time and effort into it, it seemed a waste to give up and so I brought the dress with me. I couldn't wear it early in the night because I would have destroyed the pub so I got dressed outside the pub when the taxi arrived. A great night was had by all and the dress saw the light of nightclub.

It’s all over now and the dress sits desolate and lonely in a basket, unused. What do you do? What can you say? I want to rid my house of clutter but binning it seems so sad.  

According to Marie Kondo, clothing can be moved to the sentimental pile but do I really need a black bin bag filled with a puffy dress that I’ll take out and look at once every 5 years? No. So I’m taking her advice. Thanking the dress for its service and laying it to rest in the wheelie-bin out the front.

This post is an ode to the dress.

Thank you:

for the time I spent with my friends trying to make you.

for teaching me how to fix glitter to material.

for the laughs my friends had at the utter state of me.

for the night.

And thanks for the weeks I spent sweeping and hoovering glitter off every surface in my house. I’ve learned my lesson. Glitter projects should be small. 


Target: 100 Words

Actual: 521