I read an article today that struck a chord, somewhere in me. In the article the writer had her readers look at the concepts of building vs losing in regards to your weight. Her basic premise is this:
Would you rather build a strong and healthy body
Lose a few pounds?
She asks you to look at the emotional response you get from you answer not just the answer itself. The answer to both in most cases is a resounding yes. But the emotional responses you get are on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Lets look at this for a second... When you think of “building” your body, you start on a strong platform, it creates a sense of stability in you, a feeling that you could create something. You feel drawn or pulled towards it – emotionally anyway.
Now think of “losing” weight. Your energy is lower. It’s something you "should" do rather than want to. You feel pushed towards it instead of drawn to it.
Our writer creates a very compelling argument that I wholeheartedly agree with.
I want to take this building vs losing concept and expand it to every area of my life. Don’t lose the “old” me... Build on top of it.
· I don’t want to take or remove things from my house, I want to create a comfortable clutter free home that I enjoy living in.
· I don’t want to remove the security of a weekly pay-check. I want to build a growing, ever-expanding business that creates security but also lets me live life on my terms.
· I don’t want to “get rid of” friends. I want to build a secure network of good, supportive friends who can come on this journey with me rather that berate me for my choice in life.
And this is the thing. You can chose how to create your life. When you are building you chose what bricks to put where and what mixture of cement to use to hold it all together. Just make sure that you set the proper foundations. While it is fun to change the fixtures and accessories, its more fun doing that when you know you have a sturdy, reliable structure.
I want to do a small exercise here. I want you to think of the word “lose” and pretend you are a thesaurus. Come up with as many synonyms for “lose” as you can. You can write them down if you want but it’s not necessary. You can take this a step further if you want and actually use a thesaurus in Microsoft Word or Google.
Notice whether these words are predominantly positive or negative and pause to feel your emotional response to each.
Now do the same with “build”. What images does the word create. Check the thesaurus. Positive or negative?
The point I want to make here is that your words are powerful and your subconscious is even stronger. When you use a particular word your subconscious mind has a whole host of connections to that word. These connections create a feeling – even if it is only simmering underneath your conscious radar. Feelings create thoughts and thoughts create actions or in-actions.
Now take a look at your goals, dreams or ideas. Say them out loud if it helps and notice whether the words are predominantly positive or negative. Change them if needs be.
Words can be powerful or poisonous, even if only said to yourself. Make it a habit to only use positive ones in your thoughts and conversations. To begin just even be aware. When I initially decided to take notice of what I was saying, the vast majority of it was putting myself or someone else down. Still, now there is a lot of negativity to be weeded out of my vocabulary but I am getting there.
It’s still early days and we hardly need something so seemingly insignificant to ruin our plans from the get go.