Why Young Men Love Older Women

Younger men, many pros many cons. But my opinion isn't the be all and end all. During my research on the male demographic of the Jenner generation, I was curious what it is about us "auld ones" that tickled their fancy.

If you have a plethora of similarly aged women, fresh meat in very little clothing, who are more than happy to get freaky with you. Then why do you look past them to a more cougarish woman damaged by gravity, too much sun and a few too many cocktails back in the day?

My hands-on research was proving too slow. This post would have taken 12 months to write had I only taken the opinion of those I dared to get down and dirty with. So I sent out questions into the ether of the internet. I want to understand the other side of the dynamic. 

My questions were answered.

Here's a breakdown of some of the more enjoyable opinions of the younger crowd. Why they prefer an older lady.


Rough and Tumble

When experience speaks, the young and inexperienced will listen. If they are intelligent, and learn.

- Anonymous, Fetlife

It’s all relative isn’t it? When you’re 19, a few extra years seems like a big deal (what a thrill, what a taboo!) but when you’re 40+ it’s like, who gives a shit about age, whatever works :)
Thinking waaay back, when I was in my teens or early twenties, probably the nice thing about dating someone older was just the usual stuff - more life experience, more sexual experience, more confidence, more open about what she expects and wants, and more independent generally. I suppose that can all factor into a more veteran, badass domme for D/s relationships. Sometimes you see these youngsters cracking whips and it feels like... hey take your time, learn some skills first, you’ll take your eye with that thing!
— - Anonymous, Fetlife

Older Dommes can have a really powerful Yoda effect. So much wisdom, so many more things to explore. My favorite Domme I ever had the opportunity to interact with was nearly 70 and I was under 30. So many times I'd walk away thinking "I didn't even know my mind could bend that way"

- Anonymous, Fetlife.

As a guy who’s been with a woman who’s nearly twice my ages for a few years, I can tell you it’s probably got something to do with how good the sex can be. I first met her for a casual encounter, and went out with her the day after. We arranged to meet the following weekend, but that got scraped and we met up the day after. I can make her cum several times before I do, which is probably why she kept me around, but we started developing feelings for each other and became exclusive.
— -Stormfather, Reddit

Probably the same reason old dude's drool over younger women.

- dudeinthepnw, Reddit

I LOOOOVE older women. I always have been...it’s just the way I’m wired. If I saw a beautiful 25 year old and her 45 year old mom, I would be more attracted to the mom every day of the week.
I’m not sure why. I think it’s because I’ve always been an old soul. I’ve always gotten along better with people who are older anyways. Older women are sexy and are better tuned in to what they want.
— - Casino_night, Reddit


I have done it once(and by once I mean an intense two weeks). I was in my early twenties and she was 38. She was beautiful and ridiculously sexy, but the best part, in my opinion, is she knew what she wanted. She'd been through her expirimental stage when she was younger so she just took what she wanted. I learned some valuable things for later, and she got a, let's be honest, young dummy who could keep going.

-utahraptorsandtigers, Reddit

I have always been attracted to women in the (roughly) 40-55 age range. I don’t know what it is but they seem to come off as more self assured, at ease with themselves and more rounded as individuals though obviously this is a generalisation. There is something purely visual about their faces as well which I can’t put my finger on.

Growing up most of the authority figures such as primary school teachers which I encountered were that age or just a bit younger so I don’t know if that had an effect or not. Maybe it made me associate mature women with power and authority on a subconscious level.
— Anonymous, Fetlife

all of my relationships have all been with Women 14 years or better my age. I was always taught to be courteous and polite to all Women such as, opening doors, walking on the sidewalk closest to traffic etc. I just adore the Mature Female!

Anonymous, Fetlife

When I was in my early 20s I dated someone who was 30 and I thought that was so mature OMG! I honestly thought they were going to have their shit together in a way I absolutely didn’t (pro-tip: they did NOT have their shit together AT ALL, they were a mess: I left that relationship with a brand new appreciation for my own maturity. Digression).

I absolutely think that ‘hot confident older woman’ is a thing (at many ages) and I can see that a 28yo would seem like some kind of holy grail for some young men (still young enough to be super hot, but old enough to have it all going on).

Expectations of an older woman being able to ‘take the lead’ more naturally is especially appealing for many in a D/s context.
— Ferns, Domme Chronicles

I would say its the general understanding that an older woman knows exactly what she wants, and rigidly defined goals/values/desires are essential to a Domme.

- Anonymous,Fetlife

Coming from one male’s perspective, when we (my vanilla friends) were 20 and talked about ‘older woman,’ we meant late-30s or 40s. If I were dating a woman who was 28 at that time, the focus of conversation from my friends would have been on her earning more than me (a dirt-poor uni student) not her age.

This is one of those areas where the gender norms can be quite interesting too. If a woman my age were dating someone who was 18, they could be viewed as a ‘Cougar’ and likely not viewed well by friends and society. If I were dating a girl who was 18, I could be viewed as a ‘Hero’ and likely viewed quite well indeed by friends and society. (Personally, that would squick me, but how many rich geriatrics have married 20-something models?) In history, it was normal for a man to take a much younger bride (part of how women were treated as property rather than people), so this is still viewed as relatively fine; it is still not viewed as OK for a woman to do the same.
— Anonymous, Fetlife

There's definitely a trend here. Us older women do have something going for us. Apparently, that's confidence, knowing what we want and pure unadulterated sex appeal. I'm enjoying this far too much. Stay tuned because next week we'll be taking the womens opinion. Why do women dare to go younger?

As always, this is a conversation, add your thoughts below. Both sides.