Self-love is not pink and soft and fluffy. It’s not blurred and gentle. It’s not rose coloured glasses and meditation and plates of cheese.
It’s actually a bit of a bitch. An educated, streetwise mother who doesn't take no for an answer and gets shit done.
The internet is littered with self-love articles espousing glasses of wine, bubble baths and saying no. Yet we wonder why we’re drunk, wrinkly and have no social life.
We want to ring in sick, spend our savings on reckless impulse purchases and eat cheese strings for breakfast, lunch and dinner while watching reruns of friends on Netflix.
Because in reality, we’re all just tall children. Running around aimlessly, making demands and throwing strops when things don’t go our way.
Difference is, now that we’re grown up, we don’t have anyone to tell us that we shouldn’t stay in our pyjamas all day without brushing our teeth. Or that it's mean to call Janice a bitch. Whether we like it or not, we’re in charge now.
The sexist boss, the toxic friends, the gym membership that’s not being used. The guy who treats you like shit, the parent who judges every decision you make, the therapist who leaves you feeling worse at the end of the session. These aren't fuckups. They're life.
But it's still your life, so it's still your responsibility.
We’re being pushed and pulled in every direction, hardly taking the time to realise that we’re doing things we don't want to. So we procrastinate, avoid, sleep in, drink more, fuck more, hide - none of which are ways to deal.
Cut away the dead wood. And cut yourself some slack. You can’t control what others say and do, but you can dictate how you react.
Respect yourself, love yourself enough to call it quits. That’s when you say no. Not when your social anxiety is kicking in because you’re not great at meeting new people.