Why Older Women Dabble Younger Than Their Years

Last week we discussed the pros and cons of younger men and got the opinions of men who think older women are where it's at. This week we're drawing from the other side of the line and finding out why women prefer to detract rather than add when it comes to the age of their sexual partners.

The answers were wide-reaching and varied, there were a few great stories in there too. I wish I could post them all but that would take forever and well - I have other shit to do today. Maybe a  second post later on? You tell me


There is the taboo aspect of the age difference. They often make up for their lack of experience with stamina and willingness to be instructed.

- Sandybeachclam, Reddit

The number of 20-somethings throwing themselves at my feet is really amazing - for some reason 27 seems to be my magic number. Considering that at 52 I’m likely to be older than some of their / your mothers... I find it entertaining and a little puzzling. They / you are soooo eager at first, but tend to “poof” into thin air when I ask a few questions.

Yes, I do say on my profile that I appreciate younger men, but in my mind I was imagining 10-15 years younger (which is what happens in real life)... not 25. Not that I’m complaining. The blood of the young’uns will keep me alive forever. LOL.
— Anonymous, Fetlife

I generally don't have anything to do with guys younger than I am. I will be 35 at the end of March, and it's been my experience that guys much younger than me aren't looking for the same things that I am. Nor are they capable of representing themselves well, again in my experience.

What makes you prefer younger men over older?

I’ve ended up dating younger men mostly because that is the demographic interested in me. I’d actually really prefer to date men within about 8 years of my age, either older or younger.

But since I’m polyamorous and not available for a settling-down, nesting relationship, men who are interested in a woman for long-term partnership often don’t see me as a viable choice. Young men in explore mode are more interested in me because, at least in some cases, they don’t expect me to want to nail them down for a commitment.

I actually hate it when younger men approach me as if my age is a fetish. If a younger guy is into me because of traits specific to me, that’s flattering. If I get the impression he wants to bed an older woman, and ANY older woman will do, that’s a turn-off.

What are the perks/benefits of a younger man? What makes you go there? What do you consider younger?

I don’t really notice an age gap of 3-5 years, so that “younger man” vibe starts kicking in when we get to the 8-10 years younger range. I’ve dated or slept with men who were as much as 20-odd years younger than me (and one woman who was 20+ years younger), but it’s been rare.

Things I like: They tend to have a lot of energy and stamina and are often willing to learn how to please me. They’re visually apealing.

Things I don’t like: Sketchy living situations like them living on a friend’s couch, fetishizing me solely for my age, expecting me to be a “teacher” just because I’m older, mis-matched priorities and communication styles (NO, I do NOT want to Kik with you!).
— Anonymous, Fetlife

Older men are saggy and too set in their ways. Also more likely to hold archaic and revolting ideas about gender. Younger men are prettier, more energetic and less likely to make me think of death.

- Anonymous,Fetlife

With one exception I’ve always dated younger men. It happened that way organically though. I did not set out with that as a goal. It just turned out I was always attracted to someone younger than me.

My current partner is 19 years younger than me. We met when he was 24. We’ve been together for 10 years this September and have been living together for almost 5 years. We started out as fuck buddies, but it grew into something more (and surprised both of us quite a bit).

Why him? He wasn’t a typical 20something dudebro (aside from an addiction to video games, but then again he got me into Warcraft for several years). We’re both Leos, so I’m still not sure how this happened.

If I were looking for more partners (we’re in an open relationship), I would not now date a 24 year old. I’m not opposed to men in their mid-late 30s and up however, as I tend to get along with and have more in common with them than I do my own 50ish year old counter parts. Most of the guys I graduated high school with look like they’re in their 60s! The women look great. The guys, not so much.
— Anonymous, Fetlife

What are the perks/benefits of a younger man?


What makes you go there?


What do you consider younger?

Um. younger than me.

What makes you prefer younger men over older?

My beau is younger (MUCH younger). Nothing made me go there. It was not even a consideration. It really was not a thought for happening. I did not date (or want to date) younger men. My experiences with my own age and younger in that sort of way had not been the most positive. I had formed an opinion, therefore I was not looking there. I always had older friends and usually older men that were younger than my friends (up to 10 years older than me). Rarely was there someone NOT older, (I was used to that die to my parents ages and being the youngest in my immediate and extended family.) It was still rare to have a lover older than 10 years, more uncommon was someone my own age or younger: and only 3 were more than casual- one from each category, and one my own age I married.)

Benefits? Having run the gambit now, I see no “benefits” per se, as there are simply pros and cons -usually depending on the person, and not so much the age.

Energy level, stamina, eagerness, horniness- that is not age defined any more than ultimate maturity. I can tell you this in a comparison from 35 year span!

Older are seasoned. They have their lessons, their experience and some know-how in daily business matters.

Younger may be more optimistic, not as jaded, and -of course, a youthful look and attitude.
— Anonymous, Fetlife

Age is not a factor in my attraction to people. I have two partners who are 16 and 17 years younger than me, but I didn’t pick them for their age. I also have a partner who’s sixteen years older than me, and I didn’t pick him for his age either.

If I’m attracted to someone’s personality, the external stuff doesn’t matter.

- Anonymous, Fetlife

What are the perks/benefits of a younger man?

I tend to prefer smooth skin and fit bodies. In general, in my experience the older a man gets the more likely it is that he will be out of shape. Also, as someone who can orgasm from PIV I like partners who are able to fuck hard and for a longer period of time. I also like the shorter recovery period that younger men seem to have.

What makes you prefer younger men over older?*
I’ve dated/played with men 7 years younger than me, and up to 16 years older. Physical, mental, and emotional attraction are much more important to me than someone’s actual age. So I wouldn’t say I prefer younger to older, I just have better luck finding what I want in a partner who is younger.
— Anonymous, Fetlife

I wouldn't date younger as I would want someone past the video game age. which for men there really is no age limit... oh wait I date women..so nm. ;)

- Anonymous, Fetlife

I generally prefer younger men. I always have but can’t quite explain why. I get among better with them. There’s a curiosity and enthusiasm I find very appealing. If they’re interested, they’re genuinely interested and are delighted by me. The lack of pretense and arrogance is refreshing. There’s little assumption on their part, which I like.

I’m 38 and usually get mistaken for my mid or late twenties. I’ve seen some men my age and tim has not been kind. I’ve seen men my age who look like they could be my dad (although a young dad). That’s a turnoff. I just blend in better with younger men. I had a very pleasant interlude with a 22 year old to my 34 and it was wonderful. He was an old soul and happened to loook a bit older than he was. If you saw us, you’d assume we were the same age, which was kinda cool.

I wouldn’t rule out an older man (my three “can’t leave me in a room alone with them” crushes are older men), but the handful of older men I’ve interacted with have not been pleasant. IME, the ones I’ve dealt with have been arrogant, self-important or immature. My favorite was a 74 year old man who approached me on OKCupid who had an upper limit of 40 (LOL) because anyone over 40 was too old to keep up with him. He wrote me a short note but I politely declined, saying he was too old for me. His profile as full of assumptions about women and just other asshattery. I wish I could remember more because it’s comedy gold.

— Anonymous, Fetlife

As always, rough and tumble is a place for discussion. What are your thoughts? Have you ever dabbled younger than your years? WHat did you make of it? Would you do it again? And if not why not?